Crime and Punishment

Today, I came to school looking like the living dead.

Kinda like this. But less classy.

What was the cause of all this stress, you may ask? Well, my professional teaching identity was in crisis (as it always is on placement). One class just kept getting the better of me every time, and whilst I was learning a heap about running prac lessons in Science and so on, the constant chattering, bad behavior, moving around the room, and refusal to do work was begin to grate. My mentor teacher sat me down and had a 'tough-love' chat. I needed to raise my voice more often. I needed to follow through on consequences. I needed a seating plan. All good suggestions, and all ones I was very willing to do. But speaking about classroom management and then actually doing it are two very, very different things (at least for me)

So at home I stressed. I tried to imagine myself in all the scenarios with the class. I stressed as I thought about trying to confront a student and having a power struggle ensue. I have always warned students, moved them away from other students, told them off, chatted to them after class, and used my physical presence to stop them from misbehaving. But I had not, as of yet, given out any detentions or escalated anything beyond just the classroom.

And today, I finally did it. I followed through on a consequence, I gave out a largish punishment, I called parents, I filled out the paperwork, I sat down and organised my detention time. Did I feel bad? A little! But more then that, I had this sweet sense of relief that I had acted how I said I would, and that I had finally chosen to act as the teacher in the room. I had maintained my dignity, acted professionally, and my colleagues had backed me up 100%. It was a lightbulb moment, those positive ones where you feel maybe, just maybe, you CAN be a teacher, you CAN handle the many different aspects of classroom life, you CAN make a difference.

Lesson learned.